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New York Divorce – The Biggest Suckers Game Going

So you wanna get divorced? You're real pissed, humiliated, broke, scared, etc.? You are in the worst financial state of your life? You have no idea how you will work out all the complexities? In short, you are stressed to the maximum.

'Step right up, we have a sucker' says the New York divorce cartel.

The suckers game starts with lawyers telling you they can change life for huge fees. They start writing useless letters that are confidential and unusable and court, yet cost hundreds of dollars a pop. Then it's on to huge legal motions that the court will never read. Your lawyers fire you up to tear apart your spouse and you go on a rampage at their bequest, totally stressed and scared. Soon you may be lucky enough to have the court order you to pay huge fees to forensic evaluators, and you will be threatened with jail or jailed if you can't pay.

If you can't pay for representation you have absolutely nowhere to turn as the process is entirely anti-pro se. Judges and law clerks that I have seen are down right hostile to pro se litigants so you are fucked if you can't afford a lawyer, expect zero sympathy. It seems that you are some kind of jerk if you can't afford a lawyer - a know it all who is arrogant, even when the cost of a lawyer will exceed $100,000.

And if you can pay? Bill and bill they will. Bills will easily total $30,000 a month on both sides and yes, you will be ordered to pay your spouses fees, thus keeping the circle of thugs that NY has created alive. Lawyers charge insane rates for the simple reasons that they can be assured that a judge will order such fees to paid.....or else off to the Gulag or local jail.

The suckers game is run by the court system and this is the hardest part to figure out in the beginning. The court will imprison you or at least make your life really miserable if you don't pay their crew. If you don't exhaust every available cent from pension, college fund, relatives, friends, etc. you can find your ass in jail or perpetually tortured by thug-like tactics. There will be no formal evaluation of your assets or ability to pay and your fight will come down to whimsical decisions by a court that has no requirement to explain a verdict or substantiate how one could pay an ordered fee. If you don't play this game correctly or you lose your patience there are real consequences - you can lose complete access to your kids, more than 100% of your financial assets or end up in jail. So this is serious shit, this isn't just ranting, this is what really happens to unsuspecting families on a regular basis is New York. IT REALLY HAPPENS.

So how to avoid the suckers game? BE COOL and DON"T LITIGATE, even if your divorce will take a lot longer to complete. At some point you may be left with no choice if your mate drags you in and then you should read our legal cost control tips in this case.

You are pissed, scared, stressed, etc. and in this, the most vulnerable time in you are forced by the court to make huge decisions with immense penalties for missteps. You must be super careful about making decisions in this state of mind. You need calm, trusted advisers and you need very few. Some people say opinions are like assholes but divorce opinions are like nipples - everyone has two and some have three or more. Most opinions are based on half-baked information, myths from movies or ones own fears and experiences.

I know this post sounds whacky, but unfortunately this is no joke. Stakes are high if you make the mistake of going into the NY State Court system for divorce so my advice is to keep your ass out of it at all costs. It is a suckers game because your emotions are played by lawyers who bill by the hour while you are temporarily insane. You are easily manipulated in this frame of mind and promised the sky while bills soar with no performance accountability. It is an overburdened corrupt system where a huge percentage of your wealth will be forcibly stripped from you by the State of New York and you could lose complete access to your children or sit in jail. The primary responsibility of the court seems to be to the lawyers and ancillary professionals that the State funnels fees to - and enforce with thug-like tactics. So in closing, AVOID NY STATE SUPREME COURT and stay out of the suckers game that is divorce.